Stop F*cking Around With Your Money: Your Rebellious Guide to Creating a Shared Payment Strategy that Works
Listen up, fellow Malaysian money rebels! If you're tired of the same old boring financial advice straight from your judgmental aunt who thinks saving 50% of your salary and living on air is a viable plan, you’re in the right place. We’re about to break down how to create a shared payment strategy that doesn’t make you want to tear your hair out and helps you conquer your couple financial goals without a stress headache.
The Truth About "Traditional" Financial Advice (And Why It's Absolute Nonsense)
Let’s dismantle some of these stale financial myths that keep rearing their ugly heads like bad eggs:
Myth #1: Keep your finances separate for a healthy relationship
Reality Check: This advice belongs in the Dark Ages. Keeping finances separate often leads to secret spending, concealed debt, and more drama than a Malaysian soap opera. When you merge lives, why are you holding back on merging finances? Working together fosters trust and creates a united approach to managing money.
Myth #2: Just create a budget and stick to it
Reality Check: As if! Have you met humans? We're not robots! Rigid budgets fail because life happens—unexpected expenses are as predictable as monsoons in Malaysia. Income fluctuates, expenses increase, and frankly, if budgeting doesn't adapt to your lifestyle, then what's the point?
Myth #3: Split everything 50/50
Reality Check: In what universe does this make sense when partners have different incomes, responsibilities, and financial obligations? This mindset creates resentment and doesn’t promote equitable sharing of expenses. We’re all unique; our contributions should reflect that.
Myth #4: Honesty about finances is easy
Reality Check: Ha! Talking about money can feel more uncomfortable than discussing your weirdest secret. Financial conversations often lead to squabbles and misunderstandings. You need a strategy for these discussions to avoid them turning into a circus.
The fcvkmediocre Approach to Shared Finances
Here’s how we’re going to revolutionise your couple financial goals and family goals without losing your sanity:
1. The Three-Account System (With a Twist)
Forget what your parents taught you. Here's what actually works and will save your sanity:
The "Oh Sh*t" Account: This is your joint account for bills and essentials. This is where you’ll manage shared expenses such as rent, utilities, and groceries.
The "Do Whatever" Accounts: These are your individual accounts for personal spending. This allows you to enjoy your financial freedom without consulting your partner every time you want to buy that new pair of shoes.
The "Future Us" Account: This is your joint savings and investments account for longer-term goals such as travel, a home deposit, or retirement. Aim here for building wealth together.
Pro Tip: Set up automatic transfers right on payday. Because let’s be honest, if you have to think about it, it won’t happen, and you might end up spending that cash on snacks!
2. The 70-20-10 Rule (Malaysian Edition)
Instead of the traditional 50-30-20 rule that assumes unicorns exist:
70% for Living Expenses: Yes, this includes essentials like rent, transportation, food, and, of course, Netflix.
20% for Savings and Investments: Whether it’s the ASB, EPF, or your secret cryptocurrency stash, put money aside to build your wealth.
10% for "No Questions Asked" Spending: We all need guilty pleasures, and this is where you allocate money for whatever the hell you want—sans judgment.
3. Bill Payment Strategy That Actually Works
Stop playing "who pays what" every month like it’s a game show. Here’s your new system for paying bills:
List ALL Monthly Bills: Make a comprehensive list that includes rent, utilities, credits, and subscriptions.
Divide Them by Frequency: Categorise your bills into weekly, monthly, and annual payments.
Add a 10% Buffer: Unexpected expenses are part of life; anticipate them.
Set Up Auto-Payments: Ensure regular payments come from your joint account to avoid late fees.
Proportional Contribution: Both partners contribute according to their income—for example, if one makes 60% of the total income, they contribute 60% towards shared expenses.
Pro Tip for a Better Credit Score: Rotate bill payments between partners’ names to equally boost both credit scores. Yes, this is legal and remarkably smart!
The "No Bullsh*t" Communication Framework
Want to improve your financial planning game? Here’s how to talk about money without wanting to strangle each other:
Weekly Money Dates
15 Minutes Max: Don’t overcomplicate it; keep it short and sweet.
No Phones: Zero distractions! Make this a commitment just like your favourite Netflix show.
Review Upcoming Expenses: Discuss any notable expenses or potential spending.
Celebrate Wins: Yes, not spending unnecessarily counts as a win!
Monthly Deep Dives
30 Minutes: Dive deeper into your financial strategy.
Review Financial Goals: Measure your progress toward couple financial goals.
Adjust Strategies as Necessary: Ensure flexibility in adapting to changes, allowing you to stay on track.
Smart Consumer Hacks That Actually Work in Malaysia
Use E-Wallets Strategically:
Touch ‘n Go eWallet for daily expenses.
GrabPay for food delivery and transportation.
Boost for utility bills.
Track Overall Spending: Use apps that help you monitor where your money is going.
Master Credit Cards to Your Advantage:
Use different cards for specific expenses to maximise cashback.
Keep a close eye on payment dates; never let interest accrue.
Set payment reminders a week before due dates.
The Emergency Fund Reality Check
You’ve heard you need six months of expenses saved. That’s cute. Here’s what you actually need:
Three Months of Bare Minimum Expenses in Cash: Keep this easily accessible.
Three Months in Low-Risk Investments: Consider safer options for your longer-term savings.
Adequate Insurance Coverage: This protects you against unforeseen events that could drain your finances.
A Backup Plan: This should not involve asking your parents for cash—have a reliable alternative financing option ready.
Action Steps for Financial Freedom
This Week:
Download Expense Tracking Apps: Commit to knowing your outgoings.
Set Up Your Three-Account System: Get organised now!
Have Your First Money Date: Dive into the chaos together, and prepare to feel liberated.
This Month:
Automate All Regular Bills: Set and forget, like your last diet plan.
Review and Cancel Unnecessary Subscriptions: Netflix and 3 others can wait—reassess your expenses.
Establish Your Emergency Fund Structure: Build your financial safety net.
This Quarter:
Review Insurance Coverage Thoroughly: Ensure it aligns with your actual needs.
Start Investing (Even if it’s Just RM100): Every bit counts; take action!
Create Your Debt Reduction Plan (if Needed): Lay out your debts and formulate a plan of attack.
The Real Talk About Debt
If you're carrying debt, here’s your no-nonsense approach:
List All Debts with Interest Rates: Understanding where you stand is crucial.
Attack Highest Interest First: This is the avalanche method; tackle those debts strategically.
Consider Debt Consolidation: Join forces—make your payments more manageable if you can.
Stop Adding New Debt: Seriously, cut it out once you start tackling your debt.
Final Thoughts: Your Financial Strategy Toolkit
Remember, achieving financial freedom isn’t about following rules created by boomers who bought their houses for the price of a smartphone. It’s about:
Creating systems that genuinely work for YOUR life.
Being brutally honest about your spending.
Planning for reality (not some fairy tale).
Building wealth according to your own terms.
Ready to stop being mediocre with your money? Start with one change today. Your future self will thank you for being proactive and dishing out stark financial truths instead of fairy tales.
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Remember: Your financial strategy should work for you, not the other way around. Now go forth and manage your money like the rebellious genius you are.
